September 2010
2 posts
August 2010
13 posts
Addendum to previous post
Like Polaroid film, desperation raises prices…
One seller has a 3-pack available for 59.99 on Amazon.
God Damn Mother Fucker
o.b. Ultra Absorbency Tampons, 40-Count Boxes This product has been discontinued by the manufacturer.
crap at my parents house →
Another 11 Things That I Hate
1. Trying to cross 4 lanes of traffic on 93 South to get in the carpool lane.
2. When the shows I like to watch go on hiatus for the summer.
3. Being late for movies.
4. Feeling bloated.
5. Putting away laundry.
6. Painstakingly shaving my legs and then finding out later in the day that there’s a spot I’ve been missing for apparently the last 3 months.
7. Fucking up a...
They didn't call... →
Sleaze'n'Art. Open for business. →
Making sleazy into pretty.
Dear Liver,
Thanks, you’re a champ. Lots of love, The rest of your body
How to Apply for a Restaurant Job in 2010
I just finished an online application for a server job at Not Your Average Joes.
And it contained a psych exam that took me 20 minutes to complete.
The first 100 questions were of the standard “strongly disagree to strongly agree” persuasion. So were the next 30 and the next 23. It reminded me of that time I got tricked into taking the Dianetics exam so they could figure out how...
Sleaze and Stuff (Probably NSFW) (Okay,...
I’m embarking on a new project that I think I’ll call Sleaze Art, and it requires me to comb through Google in search of porn magazine covers from the 1970’s. (It’s not as hard as you think.) While I’ve found some really good stuff, I’m sure you can imagine I’ve also stumbled upon some true gems, which I’d like to share with you now. I assure you,...
Play-Doh Memories
I remember my mother plopping me down at the kitchen table and setting me up with one of these play-doh machines to keep me busy while she did something like escape from my incessant 4-year-old-ness:
(This is the new-fangled version. You can tell by how the background is expertly photoshopped out. And by the fact that the kid isn’t wearing a turtleneck, which, if you look at all the...
July 2010
14 posts
Dear Vegetarians (and Vegans too),
dearmeat:
I know that pigs and cows are cute and all… but it’s the fucking circle of life. Get over it. Sincerely, A Meat Lover
Sav-Mor Liquors →
The Edge of Overdraft
For the past bunch of months now there is a $500 discrepancy between what is in my bank account and what is in my checkbook register, in my favor. In order for me to go back and review things would take me two days and a lot of annoyance. So I’m living by my checkbook, which is responsible of me, but also frustrating because I’m afraid to contribute to any household expenses. I...
20 More Things I Hate
1. Not having any creative motivation.
2. When Jon doesn’t put a new bar of soap in the shower.
3. When Lenny tries to get in the basement.
4. When CVS pharmacy is so fucking slow.
5. When I fuck up a manicure.
6. That I can’t go to the supermarket/Michael’s/Home Depot/etc like a normal person.
7. Thinking about working out.
8. The fact that I can’t get...
I couldn't figure out why this picture was getting...
Then I realized one of the tags I used was “amputee.” Which I now understand is a pretty popular flickr search term.
I can't even tell you how badly I want this... →
I Get So Annoyed...
… when I go to Amy’s blog and there’s nothing new to read…
Hint.
I prefer the latter.
My vomit-phobia shrink is in Last Resort Mode. He actually suggested ipecac.
On a more amusing note, when looking up a link for ipecac, the first google listing was for Ipecac Recordings. They must have really hopped on that domain name.
Guilt City
I am having a very guilt-ridden day. Mostly regarding stuff I should be doing and either am not or do not know how.
GUILT 1:
I don’t know what I’m passionate about. Let me rephrase that: I know what I’m passionate about but I feel so far away from being able to make a living doing it, if at all. I could take pictures all day. I could make thousands (okay hundreds) of...
June 2010
8 posts
“I wish some celebrity would bring fanny packs back into style…because damn...”
The Smile Train Strikes Again
Only this time not as an ad in a magazine. No, today as I took my mail out of my mailbox there she was - right on the front of an envelope, popping up as if to say “SURPRISE!” I wasn’t even given a split second to prepare.
Smile Train? Try the Gross Train.
I know I have an affinity for horrible movies...
…but I never knew how horrible my taste actually was until I discovered that I cannot get Cherry Falls on Netflix.
Jay Mohr is probably very relieved.
As is my husband.
Why My Morning was Really Annoying
I was unexpectedly hungover…
… and I had a 10am doctor’s appointment in Central Square.
I had written down the wrong time for my doctor’s appointment and ended up being 3 hours early.
Before I left my house, I kept thinking I should call to check the time of my appointment, but I didn’t have a good reason why, so I didn’t. And I should have.
I found...
The Abs for Facebook Project
The Plan: Every time I go to Facebook, I will do 20 ab exercises and 10 push-ups.
Today’s results: 100 abs / 50 push-ups
11:30: 20 abs / 10 push-ups 12:30: 20 abs / 10 push-ups 12:39: 20 abs / 10 push-ups 14:48: 20 abs / 10 push-ups 16:03: 20 abs (obliques R&L) / 10 push-ups
May 2010
2 posts
“I fucking forgot to take my 365 picture yesterday. Balls.”
– 365 Project
I Hate...
When I fill up my car with gas and then forget to NOT park on the side of the street that slopes downward on the driver’s side, because when I do this, gas leaks out of my tank and creates a puddle under my rear tire, just waiting to ignite.
I also hate when, on the ONE DAY that I forget to bring my camera on errands, I come across a once in a lifetime photo opportunity:
One.
Two.
...
April 2010
11 posts
I love this store. →
To Sweat or Not to Sweat Part 2
You know who’s kidding themselves?
THIS guy…
To Sweat or Not to Sweat
I am currently trying to justify not working out today. The main reasons are my body is killing me from working out 2 days ago, and I’m friggin tired. I should at least do some Rodney yoga, but I just DON’T FEEL LIKE IT. I keep telling myself there are plenty of hours left in the day, but who am I kidding.
The biggest cop-out I’m telling myself is I was technically working...
Hello, My Name is Failure
So this self-employment thing isn’t going as well as I’d hoped.
There are multiple obstacles:
1. Not everyone wants/needs a decorative toilet seat. The good sales come in small spurts. I’ll have a day where I sell 5, and then nothing for a month. What this means is I get all pumped and excited for about 48 hours, only to have my hopes gradually crushed like grapes under the...
Another Thing I Forgot I Hated
Flipping through a magazine and getting punched in the face with an ad for The Smile Train.
“Would I rather be feared or loved? Um, easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of...”
– Michael Scott
Things I Hate
vomit
mulch
peanut butter on bread
the electric slide
canker sores
afghanistan movies
people who say they want to buy a seat and then ignore my invoices
quadriceps workouts
fruit gum **
putting away laundry
not getting mail
CMG Worldwide
not smoking
pens with blue ink
insomnia
salads or dinner entrees that contain fruit **
cooked carrots
rebroadcasts of tv shows when I think...